Close Encounters and Premeditated Murder 7/20/2010

The desert heat can bring out some strange and creepy critters.  I find myself constantly on the lookout for desert creepers such as Scorpions, Centipedes, Tarantulas, and other nasty bugs.

What I wasn’t expecting were these alien-like creatures which appeared on my front porch a couple nights ago.

Each about 3 inches long – 4 or 5 inches if you include the length of those antanae, these wierdos scared the crap out of me as I noticed them just before I sat down on the wooden bench.  They had pinchers, and no fear.

Being a typical woman in some respects, these bugs had me thouroughly freaked out and I knew I would not be able to sleep knowing they were outside my door.   I was sure they were plotting a break in.  Getting rid of them involved some planning.  Murdering aliens is not always a crime of passion… this one was certainly premeditated.  I found the bug spray.  The huge bottle from Home Depot with the pump in the handle for the steady stream.  I sprayed and sprayed.  One ran up the window screen and the other ran down the leg of the wooden bench.  They moved their antenae around ferociously, I swear they were sending out radio waves, calling the Mother Ship.  Once I was sure they were stunned by the spray, I knocked them each onto the sidewalk with the broom, where they met their destiny under the heavy solid part of the bottle of bug spray.

I went back inside, satisfied yet disgusted and feeling somewhat guilty.  After all, they probably wouldn’t have harmed me.  Then again, they looked like they would have enjoyed munching on my skin, or laying eggs under my kitchen sink.

I showed the picture to a friend, who agreed, they most definatley look Alien.  She suggested that I call the White House.  I told her, too late, I already killed them and disposed of the bodies.  Besides, the Government probably would have called me a racist, accused me of racial profiling, and then sued me for not welcoming the aliens into my home and offering them free food.